


Finding My Heaven

by Mickey_kayla



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: AU, Castiel angel, Dean lost soul, Death, Destiel - Freeform, Fantasy/Syfy, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural Fandom - Freeform, castiel and dean - Freeform, supernatural fanfiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-25 12:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17725064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickey_kayla/pseuds/Mickey_kayla
Summary: It is the one year anniversary of Dean’s death and he is still roaming the earth until one day his guardian angel appears bearing the news of a life time. Now Dean must fight demons, reapers and himself to stay alive.





	1. Second Chances

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all. Sorry for all those that bookmarked the original work. I reread it and was not happy at all so I deleted it. (Sorry) I will be reposted the new edited version chapter by chapter. Can not wait to hear from you all!

I guess you could say I’m a typical 24 year old. About 6’2, short brown hair, green eyes. My hobbies including eating burgers, fixing cars and long walks to the bar. I work at my Uncle Bobby’s mechanic shop and drive a gorgeous 67 Chevy Impala, well I guess I used to; I’m Dean Winchester and I’m dead.  
It’s been exactly one year today, September, 18, 2005,  the anniversary of my death. It was quick and painless, for Me at least. Me and my baby were blind sided by a drunk driver and I was pronounced dead at the scene.  To answer everyone’s first question, yes,  I made it to that little light at the end of the tunnel that everyone talks about. I made it to Heaven and I turned my ass right back around and left. That’s right, I left Heaven to live on earth, to finish my life.  To feel alive again, but as you can imagine it’s hard to feel alive when you’re already dead. To help my situation, I’ve created a routine in which I follow everyday. First I walk to school, well my Brother’s school that is, and lay on the brick wall lining the school yard until the bell rings to end the day, then I watch him walk home, in a not so creepy kind of way. I’m his brother for fucks sake I gotta look out for him. After that I go to Uncle Bobby’s shop to check up on the grouchy drunk and end my day sitting at my favorite window seat at the local dinner, but it’s hard to enjoy your mundane, lifeless, routine when everyone passes through you; literally passes through you. No one can see me, no one can touch me, I can feel the world around me, yet I’m just a distant memory to them, but today would be different.  
365 days and I decided today was the day to shake up the routine. Something was bothering me. Maybe it was the one year anniversary of my death, maybe I thought by some grace of God, something would be different today, but I went off; I went home. I walked up to the my house or what used to be my house and peered into the dark window. It didn’t seem like anyone was home. The room was dark, the air quiet, I decided to walk inside. I pushed the door, the wait of the it moving under my palm as I walked inside and made my way to my old bedroom.  
“What has gotten into You today Winchester, what are You even doing here?” I said out loud, jumping at the sound of my own voice.  
The wood floors moaned under my feet as I stepped toward my old room when a small noise stopped me in my tracks. The sound was quiet, but familiar, a woman crying just inside the door. I hesitate only for a moment, and walked in. There in front of me was my mother. Her body was curled tight on my bed. One of my old Plaid shirts swallowing her small frame. A long sleeve draped over her hand as she wiped the tears from her swollen cheeks.  
“Aw mom please don’t cry, I’m right here,” I stammered, running over to her.  
My hand reached instinctively toward her, but fell straight through hers in one foul sweep. I always hated that feeling. Sure I still had to eat, I get tired and have to sleep, it’s like I’m still alive. And yet I can’t even touch my mother’s hand when she cries. That feeling of reaching through someone, as if every nerve in your body was rejecting your very existence. It was disgusting in every sense of the word. I retracted my hand as quickly as I extended it, and a shiver crept down her now alert body, as if feeling my presence. I stared at her for a moment. Her blonde hair falling over her shoulders, her blood shot eyes meeting mine. A shock of pain shot through me like a bolt of lighting and without another thought I found myself rushing out the door.  
“This was a terrible idea damnit, what were You thinking, why did You think anything was going to change?” I mumbled to myself stomping out the front door.  
It was time to get back on my normal routine, that’s what I was good at, that was safe.

It was 5:00 o'clock sharp as I stared out the window at Ellen’s diner. The diner looked like it came from the 50’s. The booths were lined with red, leather benches and the bar with silver stools. The walls were coated in a variety of checkerboard wallpaper and the floor was covered in blue and white diamonds. The sunlight from the window warmed my face as I leaned back into the booth, attempting to compose myself. There was a cool breeze flowing in and out from the opening doors which mixed the smell of greasy hamburgers and salty fries throughout the room. Even though I was dead, all my senses still reacted as if I was alive; I touched a piece of cherry pie, strawberry milkshake and a paper bowl with fries which had been left at the table. Nearly instantaneously new, identical, food materialized. I pulled the straw of the milkshake to my lips and the cool ice cream felt refreshing from the dense air of the restaurant.  
“Another day in paradise,” I said aloud, coated in a sarcastic tone.  
“Paradise huh?”  
I jumped in surprise, he came out of nowhere, a Man about my age, sitting sideways in the booth, his arms crossed. He had messy brown hair, deep blue eyes and porcelain skin giving him a glowing effect.  
“Hello Dean.”  
“Can you hear me?” I stuttered.  
“Seems to be that way doesn’t it?” he replied as he scanned the room.  
“But how?”  
“I thought it was 2005. What’s up with this get up?”  
“How can you hear me?” I said, my voice growing louder.  
“Because Dean Winchester, I’m your guardian angel,” he replied with a  flawless smile across his face.  
“My what?” I yelled in disbelief.  
“Your guardian angel,” he replied as he took the remainder of the fries.  
I leaned back in the booth, my hands behind my head as I stared in disbelief.  
“You’re my guardian angel,” I repeated.  
“Wow, these are good.”  
“Aren’t angels supposed to have like wings and be wearing togas or something? Not a tie and a trench coat.”  
“Hey, don’t stereotype me! This is my earthly form and I’ve been sent here by my father himself to give you a second chance,” He said leaning in, “and just for the record they aren’t togas they’re robes.”  
“A second chance...a second chance at what, Heaven? I left there once, what makes you think I’d want to go back to that snooze fest now?”  
"Let me ask you this, “he said swallowing a fry, “You left the gates of Heaven because you wanted to feel alive again am I right?” he questioned. “But tell me Dean Winchester, do you feel alive?”  
My eyes lingered on the man in front of me. His voice was husky and deep. Like tires on a gravel road. His hair was a honey brown and his eyes as blue as the ocean.  
“Of course I do,” I stuttered nearly forgetting to answer, then hesitated, “I’m happy where I am.”  
The hesitance in my voice made the smile on his face grow bigger.  
“You don’t do you?” he said chuckling. “It’s not the same without a beating heart or a simple touch is it? You don’t feel it here.”  
He pointed toward his chest.  
“What my heart?” I asked, not amused by his snarky remarks.  
“No, your soul. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that aching feeling growing worse and worse. Your soul is dying Dean, and they will be coming for you soon.”  
“My soul is dying?” I chuckled, “Who’s coming for me the soul police?”  
The happy demeanor that the man entered with was suddenly gone and my stomach started to knot.  
“The demons,” He stated, “Your soul is what allows you to stay here on earth, but now it’s dying and your time is very limited. The demons will sense that it’s dying and come to take you.”  
If there was any life in my face it would have been gone. The sudden urge to throw up creeping through my stomach.  
“Take me where?!?!” I yelled, the sound of my own panic clawing at my ears.  
“They’ll take you to Hell, Dean,” he sighed.  
I sat in disbelief; I am dying all over again and now demons are after me? Demons. How could everything go wrong so fast? Maybe it was time to go. Heaven might not have been my first choice, but I didn’t want to go to Hell. Suddenly through the panic, an image of my Mom shot through my mind and the sound of Sammy’s laugh rang through my ears making the back of my eyes burn.  
“I can’t leave....I can’t leave my family again,” I said looking down.  
“Your family? Your family can’t see you Dean...”  
“That doesn’t matter!” I yelled looking up, “They need me!”  
“Have you ever took the time to think about what they want Dean?”  
“They want me back.”  
“They want you to be safe!”  
The room silenced. The hum of the air conditioning buzzed in my ears as I tried to think of something to say.  
“Did you know they pray for you every night?” He said interrupting my thoughts, “They pray that you are in Heaven, happy, safe and watching over them.”  
I looked down again, surprised by his reply then looked back up.  
“I can’t,” I reply.  
Suddenly he swiped his hand in front of me and a window like object appeared. Within the window were three Men slightly older than me. They had dark hair and black eyes apart from the man in the middle. His were yellow. A young girl stumbled backwards in front of them. Her face painted in terror.  
“Those are demons,” He said, “and that is a soul,” he said pointing at the girl.  
Suddenly the three Men sprinted to the girl. There speed was impeccable and before I could comprehend what was happening in front of me yellow eyes’ hand was gripped hard around the girls face and her body crumbled into a heap of ash. The window slowly disappeared, but all I could do was stare, terror in my eyes. That could be me, those things are coming after me. My hands shook as I forced myself to look down. Silence took over the room again for another brief moment.  
“How much time do I have?”  
He smiled.  
“Seven days,” he replied.  
“One week!” I exclaimed. “Isn’t there a way to stop it?”  
“That’s why I’m here, all we have to do is find your door,” he reassured me.  
“Excuse Me?”  
“Your door, you know that light at the end of the tunnel?”  
I nodded  
“Yeah the one I walked through before I got to the gates.”  
“Well that isn’t an all access tunnel; it’s yours and your door will open to your tunnel.”  
“So all I have to do is find my door and I’m saved right?”  
“Correct,” he said standing up from the booth, “So Dean Winchester are you ready for your second chance?”


	2. Starting Line

“So what’s your name anyways?” I said kicking a stone clumsily out of my way.  
It was the day after our first encounter, my first day to find my door, and we were finally on our way. The sun was shining almost guiding us down the street. The air had a cool breeze and the birds sang in delight.  
“Castiel, my name is Castiel.”  
His steps seemed to almost float across the asphalt and the aura around him seemed to radiate a warm glow.  
“So Cas, where are we going to find this door?” I asked.  
He stopped with a puzzled look and the continued forward with a small smirk.  
“I have no idea.”  
“What do you mean you have no idea?” I questioned, “You mean to tell me you came all the way here to bring me to my door and you don’t even know where it is?”  
“Well you started walking down the street so confidently I thought you already knew how to find it,” Castiel replied in defense.  
“Well Angel Man what do you suppose we do now?”  
He stopped and tilted his head toward the sky. The sunlight outlining his chiseled features. I stared curiously as he moved silently to a shaded tree near by.   
“Well, your door is supposed to be at the place you passed; you did die in this town didn’t you?” he questioned leaning up against the cool bark of the tree.  
“Acccttuuuulllyy,” I said, embarrassment soaking my words.  
“Actually what?”  
“Actually it happened about four hours from here in Norman, Oklahoma.”  
“Well Dean don’t you think that would be an important piece of information to share?” he said with an irritated tone to his voice.  
“Well, how was I suppose to know? You're the angel here,” I said in return, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans.  
He shook his head and closed his eyes, obviously annoyed. A deep sigh broke the tension that was slowly building.   
“Well there is no sense in arguing about it. Looks like we have a three day walk ahead of us,” he said pushing off the tree. “ Lets get going.”  
He started walking down the dirt road, so relaxed, like nothing could stop him. My life was in his hands now. A guy or an angel I just met. Whether I like it or not, the life I grew to know was about to change. Whether for better or worse I hadn’t decided yet.  
We had been walking for about an hour with the sun beating down. Sweat began to condensate on my face, and the breeze had completely subsided. My grey T-shirt was now soaked in sweat and my mouth was as dry as the air. Ahead I could make out what I believed to be a small gas station.  
“Hey can we..”  
“Take a break? I was thinking the same thing, we can camp out in that gas station up there for awhile. It seems to be closed anyway,” he said finishing my sentence.  
“How did you know I was going to ask that?” I asked confused.  
“I’m your guardian angel Dean, I know more about you than you think,” he replied a smile growing across his face. 

 

The gas station was anything but pretty. The walls painted in dark red were chipping and cobwebs coated the corners. The smell of cold coffee and burnt pizza filled the air. As we flipped on the lights a musty glow filled the room. Across the room stood a rack of torn backpacks and a couple of lighters on the shelf behind.  
“Lets get some of those..”  
“Lighters and backpacks, good idea.”  
“Will you stop doing that!”  
“Lets load up.”  
I grabbed a blue backpack and a couple lighters and started wandering the room. Cas sat on top of the register counter eating a snickers bar, a string of caramel hanging from his lip. I stared at him confused.  
“What?” he said, his mouth full.  
“Do you even get hungry?”  
He swallowed and said, “Well no, but it still tastes good, it’s fun to try new food ya know, and I enjoy these very much”  
I kept staring at him.  
“I’m not like you Dean, I don’t get tired, or hungry, and I don’t technically need to sleep, but who doesn’t like sleeping?”  
“Then why did you want to take a break?”  
“Because you and that human body of yours obviously need a break,” he laughed pointing at my stomach and taking a sip of pop.  
I stared back as the blood ran to my cheeks and if on command my stomach let out a loud roar. I looked down at my stomach and then at Cas a smirk growing on his face. Suddenly we both started laughing and the pop Cas had drank came spewing out his nose. I fell backwards in laughter as he frankly wiped the pop from his face. This was nice, being around another person, laughing. After wiping the pop from his face, Cas let out a loud yawn and winked at me. I shook my head as he laid down on top of the counter and fell asleep. A few beers and three bags of chips later I found myself dozing off behind the counter. Nothing was going to stop me, I’m going to make it to that door no matter what the cost.


	3. They come in the night

“Dean get up.”  
I felt a push against my shoulder.  
“Dean get up.”  
This time the push was harder.  
“Damnit Cas will you stop pushing me,” My voice echoed through the building and a hand soon covered my mouth.  
“Are you crazy? Lower your voice,” Castiel whispered intensely removing his hand.  
“Why, what’s the problem?”  
He answered with a hand, pointing toward the parking lot. Three dark figures slithered through the now dark parking lot searching for a challenge.  
"Who are they?"  
"Bad news, lets go," he said creeping towards his bags.  
"What do you mean, the demons?" I asked following hesitantly.  
"Precisely. And if we don't get out of here fast then we are in for a fight."  
He hurriedly stuffed his bag with as much food as possible and stopped.  
"We're gonna have to run for it, stay close to me understand?"  
I nodded and he signaled. One, two, three. We sprinted toward the back door ducking and dodging rows of candy bars. Out of the corner of my eye I could see them. The demons. They were pale skinned with jet black hair, black eyes, each one had tattoos racing down their arms. They wore black shirts and dark jeans; one wearing a leather jacket. The one with the jacket must have been the leader, his eyes scanning the lot. His yellow eyes. We were almost to the back door. I frantically dashed behind Castiel. Not thinking, I took a quick glance out the window, but when I turned back it was too late. Candy bars scattered the floor and a loud crash came from the fallen rack that I ran into. I looked up, eyes wide. The demon in the leather jacket was leaning over me, a terrifying smile across his face. He came out of nowhere as if he was never in the parking lot at all.  
"Aww poor little Dean fell down, how sad," he leaned in close. " Now lets go home."  
He raised his hand and I braced for pain when a flash of light covered the room. Leather jacket took off running toward the exit. I couldn't see anything; everything was bright. I rubbed my eyes frantically trying to focus, but all I could make out were two silhouettes.  
"State your name demon."  
The voice came from the silhouette closest to me. It was Cas.  
"An angel, how amusing," he murmured.  
"I said state your name."  
"My name is Azazel."  
My eyes finally cleared and the silhouettes became people. Ahead of me was Cas. He had glowing tattoos lining his face and in the doorway was Azazel. Across his eye was a deep burn which, to my surprise, was healing.  
"You're out numbered angel you don't stand a chance," he said, the two other demons walking toward them.  
"Don't underestimate me, demon."  
"Don't get cocky now," he chuckled.  
Suddenly Castiel leapt toward me, small, glowing, needle like objects flew from his hand and buried themselves into the face of the Goons on the left.  Azazel, surprised by the attack, turned to see his screaming comrade.  
“You angels are so annoying,” he said as chains emerged from his hands.  
Azazel began to swing the chain then tossed it toward Cas. He dodged as the other chain was thrown toward me. The chain wrapped itself around my leg and began dragging me toward the demon.  
“I got you now, soul.”  
I started to panic, clawing the ground as I was dragged closer and closer to him. The metal bowed suddenly as Cas jumped on, running up the chain toward Azazel. Azazel countered, throwing the other chain frantically toward him, but Cas was too quick. He dodged a barrage of needles flew from his palm. The demons arm instinctively covered his face, the needles embedding themselves in his flesh. He looked up, but found Cas next to him.  
“I told you not to underestimate me,” he said.   
With a quick movement he twisted Azazel’s arm backward, the arm holding the chain around my leg, and a popping noise echoed the room. Azazel roared in pain, the lights around him bursting from the sound of his voice. The Goons, stunned by what was happening, bolted toward him. Fire on their finger-tips. They shot the fire toward Cas. The room around me was suddenly in flames. Smoke scratched at the inside of my lungs. I stood trying to get to the back door, but kept stumbling over the fallen candy. Get up Dean. Get up or you’re going to die. Again I stood and ran toward the back door, looking back toward Azazel and Cas as I ran. The Goons were now apart of this giant mess. This didn’t seem to faze Cas. More flames shot toward Cas, some landing on Azazel.  
“Honestly you idiots, hit him not me!” yelled Azazel patting the flames out with his good arm.  
I kept running and this time found enough grip to make it to the door. I frantically pushed through the door and found myself in the back lot. Okay you’re out. Now what? Run, just run. I had no clue what I was doing. Fear had taken over my mind. I started running forward, when the wall behind me exploded. A goon tackled me to the ground, a sick grin across his face. His teeth were yellow and pointed, and his breath smelled like death. My eyes grew wide as flames formed on his finger tips. Do something Dean. He is going to kill you. Do something. Anything. Do something! I kicked with all my might, the sole of my boots pushing him backwards into the heap of bricks.  
“I did it,” I whispered to myself. “Not going to Hell today You son of a bitch!” I yelled at the goon, laughing.  
“You!” yelled Azazel. He was now standing in the hole in the wall, in which the goon had made.  
The smile I had disappeared immediately. Where’s Cas? Did they kill him? Am I alone? Suddenly Castiel, as if on que, jumped over top of Azazel, pushing him to the floor. He bolted toward me as Azazel fell to forward, a cloud of dust filling the air as his body hit the ground.  Castiel, now crouching next to me, grabbed my arm, pulling me close and covered my eyes. Through the slits between his fingers I could see the light filling the room. My body felt as if it were floating, but something even more strange was happening. My heart was beating.


	4. Back to the beginning

What happened? Did he get me? Am I in Hell? I started opening my eyes. It was hard to focus, but slowly my vision became clear. I was propped up against a tree, the shade covering my body. It was the tree from the beginning of our journey. The tree that Cas leaned against before we even started.  
"What happened?” I moaned rubbing my throbbing temple.  
"We jumped," he responded.  
Above me sat Cas, a candy bar in his hand.  
"Excuse me?"  
"We jumped, teleported, back to where we started."  
"You can do that? Why don’t we just jump to my door then?”  
“I’m not allowed to, that would defeat the purpose.”  
“What do you mean purpose and what was up with that bright light in the gas station and those needles?"  
"You ask a lot of questions,” he said jumping from the tree, he landed silently in front of me like he was as light as a feather, “You need more faith,” he said poking me in the chest.  
“Well whatever you did or however we got here lets not do it again.”  
“I was sent here to save your soul Dean. You don’t think I would come unprepared do you? We, angels, are beings of light and we fight the darkness, demons, but lets face it, this is the twenty-first century we’re not wrestling grown men anymore.”  
“So what, you got like super powers or something?”  
“Super powers, really?” he said turning around.  
“Does that mean those demons have powers to?”  
I remembered lying on the floor, how fast Azazel was.  
“They are powerful,” he put his hands behind his head and turned back around, “but they don’t have him on their side.”  
He was pointing toward the sky. How could God give me a second chance when I left Him. I don’t deserve to go back.  
“It’s because He loves you,” he said that flawless smile across his face.  
“Don’t tell me you can read minds too?” I yelled in protest.  
“It was written all over your face,” he laughed.  
I could feel my cheeks begin to burn, “I well I..” I stuttered trying to compose myself.  
“Now come on lets go find that door,” He said reaching out his hand for me to grab. It was time to put my doubts behind me, it was time to put my life in his hands. I grabbed his hand and to my surprise he wrapped his arms around me.  
“Now, about not jumping anymore, unless you want to start all over we’re gonna have to go one more time.”  
He flipped me around and covered up my eyes.  
“Hey wait don’t I get a say in...”  
And then everything was bright.


	5. Here’s your fries now burn in Hell

The sky was painted in shades of pink and red and the air was cool. The sun was just sliding past the horizon and the light began to dim. We had been walking for what seemed like hours and had taken a different route to make sure not to run into the demons again. A small now town had slowly revealed itself on the horizon. We had finished off the last of our candy bars awhile ago and my stomach was now growling in protest.  
"We can get some food in the town up ahead," Cas said, who obviously heard the groan.  
The town was big, but not quite a city. It consisted mostly of suburbs and small business buildings. The roads were lined with streetlights and every open sign was dark. We made our way to a small convenient store. A giant sign hung above it with the words Joe’s Groceries in bright red letters. The inside was as expected. Rows of racks filled the room and the walls covered in freezers and fridges. It might have just been a convenience store, but to my stomach it was a tiny slice of Heaven. I grabbed as much as I could. Candy bars, chips, pre-made sandwiches, even those little saltine crackers everyone hates. If this was going to be my last meal for a while, I was going to make the most of it.  
“You ready to go?” asked Cas a twizzler hanging out of his mouth.  
“Yup,” I replied trying to zip up my bag.  
“You got enough food there?” He said laughing as I pushed the food down and finally zipped the bag.  
“You can never be too careful.”  
“But you can always be too fat,” he laughed.  
We headed back out to the street, Me lugging my backpack around and Castiel still laughing at me.  
"Where to next?" I asked stuffing a ham sandwich into my mouth.  
"Well, we should probably find somewhere for you to sleep."  
"Well, we have plenty of options."  
He scanned the buildings.  
"We'll stay in that old house over there."  
The house was made of rotting black wood. The front window was broken and the door was half off its hinges. The yard full of dead grass.  
"What do you mean stay there? That looks like a horror movie waiting to happen, why can't we just stay in one of the houses in this SAFE neighborhood?" I yelled.  
"Well unless you want complete strangers walking through you while you sleep, I suggest you start walking and stay with me in that house," he said pointing toward the broken building.  
Frowning I shoved past him and started walking.  
"You are a difficult one aren't you? I don't know what I was thinking when I picked you."  
"What do you mean you picked me?" I stopped walking.  
He stared at me as though his eyes were piercing my soul and started walking toward me. My body jerked as if to move out of his way, yet I couldn’t seem to make my feet follow.  
“I chose to be your guardian angel, I could have picked anyone of the lost souls wandering this earth and I picked you,” He said in a low growl. The space between us now only inches, “so if you don’t mind cooperating just a tad more that would be wonderful.”  
My stomach twisted into tight knots as we stared in silence. What the hell was this feeling? Was I nervous? Afraid or...  
He took a step closer and my breath caught in the back of my throat, until he finally walked past me toward the house. My feet felt melted to the ground as I stood silence. He picked me. Why me?  
“Because you reminded me of myself,” he said answering my thought.  
I spun around, he was staring at me again.  
“Now lets go.”

 

As we walked up the house’s front porch the stairs moaned. I went to grab the door handle, but was stopped by a reaching hand.  
“Would you like to see something cool?” he asked.  
I nodded, curiosity getting the best of me. He reached for the door handle, but when his fingers touched the metal the rust and grime turned into a sparkling silver. All I could do was stare in awe.  
“You haven't seen anything yet,” he said walking into the house.  
We stopped in the middle of the room. Cobwebs coated the walls and the furniture was covered in holes. The floor was stained with black and brown splotches and the ceiling looked ready to collapse. He opened our bags and tossed the food onto the floor.  
“Okay now you’re gonna have to close your eyes again.”  
I stared in disagreement.  
“Go on close em.”  
I closed them, but only for a second. As I opened them the world around me had changed into an earthly Heaven. The furniture looked as if it was brand new. The ceiling was covered in a mosaic of windows. The floor was shining with a new layer of stained oak and the walls seemed to sparkle, but what really surprised me was the food. What use to be old candy and stale chips was now a feast, hamburgers, french fries and to my left a cherry pie.  
“I thought a familiar meal would make you feel better,” he said replying to my facial expression.  
“How did you do this?"  
“Don’t underestimate the power of the Lord, Dean.”  
“You never seize to amaze me.”  
“Well thanks,” he said, a smile on his face, his cheeks now a light pink, “but this isn’t permanent. If the demons touch any of this it will turn back, plus it takes up a lot of my energy, this is one treat we won’t be getting much of, so enjoy it.”  
“Well lets eat all this food before they get here,” I said, the hesitated.  
“Would you join me for dinner?” I said before I could stop myself, “I mean obviously You are going to eat, wait I guess you don’t have to eat, but I’m not going to make you leave or anything, I mean ugh.”  
Embarrassment washed over me as every stutter I made clawed at my ears. This wasn’t me, or at least not the me I was used to. When I was alive it was second nature to pick up the ladies and now I’m a stuttering mess. He was completely knew territory, but something about him felt right, like home. It was terrifying yet exciting.  
“Dean,” the sound of my name suddenly hit my ears, pulling me out of my trance, “I would love to have dinner with you,” he said smiling.  
Your in for it now Winchester. What a better time then the end of your world to find your inner self.

The food was a well needed familiarity, but at the back of my mind all I could think about was my beating heart. How my heart had been still until we teleported and how it had stopped again. Could that be the reasoning behind these sudden feelings?  
“Hey Cas.”  
“Yes sir?” he responded shoving fries into his mouth.  
“When we jumped, my heart, it started beating again, why is that?”  
He stopped eating and looked at me.  
“You felt that huh?”  
I nodded.  
“Well your heart started beating again because the light we jumped in was part of Heaven and once you’re in Heaven you’re reborn.”  
“Reborn?”  
“Yes, your earthly body is just a shell for your soul and when you’re in Heaven your soul is set free and is reborn like mine.”  
“So I’ll be an angel.”  
“No, I was chosen to be an angel.”  
I sat for a moment processing this new information, “So you started out like me?”  
“Sort of, I was five when I passed and when I went to Heaven I was reborn. I grew up there and long story short I became an angel, but the catch is if I die here on earth my soul will be reborn back to its original form.”  
“So you would be five again?”  
“Precisely, but how about we change the subject kay, we’re going to have a long trek tomorrow how bout we get some sleep?” he stood and walked to the nearest chair, obviously trying to avoid the subject.  
I never realized how big a risk he had. He was risking his life for me.  
“Dean?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Thanks for caring, goodnight.”  
“Oh, um, ya, no problem,” I said, but he was already asleep.  
I wandered over to the couch, today seemed to have drug on and the soft cushions were soothing to my sore body. My eyes slowly began to shut and before I knew it I silently drifted away in a well needed sleep, but this new paradise wouldn’t last long. Hours passed and I opened my eyes to the sound of a scratching at the window. Castiel was still sleeping on the chair next to me and the lights had been turned off. There was another scratch at the window. I sat up silently.  
“Maybe it’s a raccoon or something, it might not be the demons,” I thought trying to reassure myself.  
I made my way over to the window stepping over all the wrappers and the occasional fry. It was dark outside and the reflection of the moon flooded through the window. There was a small scratch across the window, but even weirder was a line of blood that dripped down from it. Hesitantly, I peered out. The neighborhood was silent and dark. The street lights making pockets of light. I shut the door not noticing the door knob had its grime back.  
“Dean stop being so paranoid, there’s nothing here,” I said aloud ready to head back to bed.  
I turned around and started back to the couch when a shock of pain split through my back. The window behind me had been shattered from the outside in and shards of flying glass forced their way into my flesh. I fell to the floor in pain.  
“You need to trust your gut more.”  
A dark figure stood above me. It was Azazel. I tried to crawl away, but it was too late. With a swift kick to the stomach I rolled into the now rotten wall. Everything around was as it use to be, old and rotten.  
“You know I was gonna make this quick, but your little angel friend really pissed me off back there so I’ll be sure to pay him back with your agony.”  
He started walking toward me, fire blazing from his fingertips. He was like a killer from a horror movie ready to take a life at any moment. I tried to call for help, but only a small noise came out.  
“Time to go little soul.”  
A blast of light radiated behind Azazel and he flew into the couch. It was Cas.  
“You bastard!” screamed Azazel.  
A trail of blood dripped from the corner of his mouth and smoke came from his back. Castiel was now next to me, his eyes and tattoos glowing.  
“Are You okay?” He asked his panicked eyes looking me up and down.  
If someone wasn’t trying to kill me that look could have led else where.  
“I’ll, I’ll be fine, thanks for that,” I said trying to focus.  
I stood slowly.  
“Don’t get distracted now,” Azazel laughed.  
Black lightning shot from his fingertips and screams filled the air.  It was as though the pain and agony of the souls in Hell were formed into the lightning. Cas in response swiped his hand across the air creating a wall of light seconds before the bolt hit and to my surprise I started crying. The screams of all those tortured souls biting at my ears. Castiel was unfazed as though he had heard them thousands of times. With no hesitation he shoved me to the ground and pushed the chair in front of me.  
"Stay here."  
The tears rolled down my face as I watched him bolt toward the stairs in the corner, his footprints leaving shards of light behind him. Needles of light shot out from his hands flying toward Azazel. Azazel stumbled to the side-just dodging. Cas, now on the stairs, threw a kick to his left and hit the second demon who suddenly appeared next to him.  The demon flew off the stairs hitting the wall by the door.  
How did they find us so fast? Were we really going to have to fight our whole trip? This is crazy. I can’t do this.  
“Your soul seems to be frightened, angel,” laughed Azazel appearing in front of Cas.  
“He is none of your concern!” yelled Cas hitting Azazel as though he knew he would appear there.  
His body tumbled down the rotting stairs, blood spewing from his mouth. Just before reaching the floor he disappeared again reappearing behind Cas. He threw a kick which Castiel caught, holding Azazel still.  
“It’s time for you to leave!” yelled Cas punching Azazel in the gut.  
The force of the punch lifted him off the floor and Cas, as though it was rehearsed, grabbed him by the leg and jumped off the stairs. Once in the air he whipped him into the floor with surprising ease. Floorboards hit the chair in front of me and the sound of the impact shook the walls around us. My body trembled as covered my had with my arms. Desperately trying to protect myself.  
Everything was happening so fast, I didn’t realize one of Azazel’s goons was coming toward me and dug his nails into my leg. A scream of pain left my lungs as he began dragging me toward the door. Castiel fell to the floor, landing on Azazel’s face pushing him deeper into the rotten floor. He started running toward me and the other goon, appearing out of nowhere, throwing the couch in front of him. Cas flipped over the couch landing on the goon’s face and pushing himself towards me. I was glad he was on my side. Needles shot from his hand and shot through the goon’s arm forcing him to let go of my leg. He wailed in pain grabbing at his arm and before I knew it Cas was there beside me.  
“What are you doing? Fools!,” yelled Azazel pulling his face out of the floor. “Go, don’t let them get away!”  
Without notice Cas grabbed my hand and started running toward the door.  
"Can't you just teleport us again?" I yelled trying to keep up with him.  
"I used too much energy; we won't make it far enough."  
"Well, we have to do something!"  
"Hold on, do not let go of my hand!"  
His fingers around my hand began to glow and a bright light shot through the air. Suddenly we were about 100 feet farther ahead. Another flash came and again we were another 100 feet farther. Flash after flash we moved forward until the old house was far behind us. We had to have made it miles when he finally stopped dropping to his knees, still holding my hand with a firm grip. His normal radiant glow was now dim. We were on the outskirts of a small rural town. A few trees scattered the roaming fields and not too far ahead was a dirt road.  
“Hey man, you okay?” I said touching his shoulder with my free hand, but recalling it back just as fast.  
His skin was as cold as ice.  
“Yes I’ll be fine,” he replied with an obvious lie, “ what about you, how’s your back?”  
In all the chaos I had completely forgotten about the shattered window. I hesitantly released his hand and reached for my back. My hand came back a bloody mess. The pain replaced my fading adrenaline and the color in my face flushed as I stumbled backward in a sudden daze.  
“Do you trust me?” he asked standing.  
“Yeah of course, why?”  
“Because this is going to hurt.”  
He stared at me with blue, sympathetic eyes.  
I sat down and for a moment hesitated to answer. A cool hand pressed lightly on my shoulder.  
“Do it,” I responded.  
I leaned forward, the cuts opening farther and farther as he tore my shirt from its seams. My back was a mosaic of glass and blood. Shards protruded from my skin.  
“Are you ready?”  
I closed my eyes a took a slow, deep breath, “Yeah,” I said, bracing for pain.  
The pain was nearly intolerable. The shards of glass tearing at my flesh as Cas slowly removed each and every piece. Screams of pain echoed the night air. After what seemed like hours the last piece of glass was removed and now a glowing light shimmered behind me. The pain subsiding almost as if it were never there and was replaced with a soothing warmth. My body embraced the warmth and I slowly fell backwards into Cas’ chest as he wrapped his arm around mine. My eyes shot open in panic when I finally realized what was happening. He was healing me with his own life force. I tried to spin around, but he had a firm grip around my body.  
“What are you doing? You already lost enough energy-you’re gonna kill yourself!”  
“I’m here to protect you Dean and I will gladly give my own life to save yours.”  
“Damnit Cas I refuse to find this fucking door without you!" I broke his grasp and spun around just in time to catch his falling body.  
“You are stubborn aren't you?” he replied closing his eyes.  
“You should talk.”  
He smiled and let out a tiny laugh and to my surprise handed me his trench coat.  
I didn't even realize he took it off. He was wearing a white dress shirt and tie now and on the back was an angel wing pattern, but real feathers were falling from the shirt.  
“Now if you don’t mind,” He said leaning into my chest, “I’m going to take a little nap.”  
“You earned it,” I replied watching as his body slowly fell limp in my arms. I’d have to ask him about the feathers later. I laid his head in the crook of my arm, brushing the hair from his sweat stricken face. Without the threat of death looming over me I could make out his defined features. His cheekbones were sharp and firm. His lips the perfect shade of pink. I turned away in embarrassment as though the thoughts in my head shouldn’t be there. He shifted in my arms and the butterflies in my stomach returned. What if he didn’t feel this way? After all, I was more of a job for him then a person right? His lips parted as he took a slow breath and the corner of my mouth curled up into a grin. Was it really so bad to have these thoughts? After all who else would know them but me anyways.?  
I stared into the black sky pulling Cas tighter into my body and wrapping us both in his coat. The stars seemed to smile down on us as if God had lit tiny candles in the sky to shed light on our way. Who knew that I would be sitting in the cold grass holding my guardian angel? Or that I would be running from demons? That the feelings would some how surface now? Or that I would have given up my chance at paradise? That I would be dead at 24.


	6. The Newbie

It was high noon when I finally woke up. The warm sun beat down on my face and the chirping of birds soothed my ears. We were now about 50 miles from Norman. I still hadn't asked Castiel about the feathers and although he seemed to be fine, I knew he was avoiding the subject so I left it alone, but I couldn't stop staring at the design on the back of his shirt.  
"So you're still wondering about the feathers huh?"  
His question startled me. How long had he know I was staring?  
"What...what do you mean?"  
"Don't play dumb, you've been staring at my shirt so hard I'm surprised there isn't a hole burnt into it."  
I looked down in embarrassment.  
"Well I mean its just...wait what's that?"  
Not too far ahead was the outline of what seemed like a person. It was walking away from us. From what I could see it hadn't noticed us yet.  
“Is it a human?” I asked.  
“No, definitely a soul,” He said squinting into toward the figure.  
I’d never met another soul before.  
"Who is it?" I asked. “Is it dangerous?”  
"I'm not sure, but we're about to find out, I’m not taking any chances."  
Without noticed he jumped. A bright light showered around me. I looked toward where the figure was. From above, Castiel reappeared tackling the figure to the ground. A little over kill if I do say so myself. I sprinted toward the both of them. Cas was sitting on top of the figure waving at me, obviously proud of his accomplishment.  As I got closer the figure’s features came into view. It was a guy who seemed to be a little older than us. He was wearing a black ACDC shirt and a black headband which held back his long hair and a large brown pack on his back.  
"Look, I got him did you see it, it was pretty awesome," Castiel cheered.  
"Ya it was definitely something," I responded.  
"Hey, Happy Gilmore, you mind getting off of me?"  
It was the Guy.  
"Not unless you tell us your name," said Cas.  
"I don't need to tell you anything now get off."  
"Nope."  
"You might as well tell him your name, cause he's not gonna get off."  
"Fine, it’s Ash. Now get off!"  
"What, what was that? I can't hear you," Cas said sarcastically.  
"My name is Ash!"  
"Ash, interesting," Cas said standing up, "nice to meet you," he extended his hand.  
Ash shoved it off and stood up brushing the dirt off his black shirt. He was a couple inches shorter than me and skinny as a pole.  
"Now if you don't mind I'm gonna be on my way and I would appreciate you not tackling me again."  
He turned to walk away, but stopped just after he passed Cas.  
"Wait a sec, you're an angel aren't you?"  
"Yes sir."  
"So you can help me? My angel’s gone I told him I didn't want help, but I changed my mind and now you can help me. I can just go with you through your door," He said pointing at me.  
"Um...Ash that's not really how it..."  
"Cas, can I talk to you a sec, please," I interrupted.  
"Um...ya, I guess."  
I grabbed him by the tie and pulled him a couple steps away.  
"What are you doing? We don't need another enemy against us, and this is the only time I've met someone like me!" I whispered.  
"He's not like you. He passed up a second chance; he's a danger to us."  
"He's no more of a danger then you are," I whispered even louder.  
"Don't whisper yell at me!"  
"I'm telling him he's coming with us."  
"Don't you do it."  
I smiled and walked back toward Ash.  
"You can come," I said confidently.  
"Sweet, thanks bro you won't regret it."  
Castiel started to walk past me, but stopped to whisper a last remark.  
"Oh you'll regret it," he whispered.  
I stared as he walked past me.  
"What's up with him?" Ash questioned.  
"He's just being a crabby little angel Man."  
But Castiel was right, I would regret this for more reasons than one.


	7. Regrets

"You got anymore food bro?" Ash asked.  
"Unfortunately, you already ate it all bro," replied Cas, an irritated tone in his voice.  
"Dean, you have one jerk of an angel."  
"And you have one feminine head of hair," Cas snapped back.  
The past two hours have been filled with nagging, sly remarks and sighs. And let’s not forget about the food. Although he was skinny as a rod, Ash managed to horf down two backpacks worth of food. It's our third day into our journey and we are about an hour out from Norman. We were a day behind schedule because of the demons, and Ash was not helping.  
"Who was your angel anyways?" Castiel asked.  
"Emanuel."  
"May the Lord have mercy on his soul."  
"You know you are something angel Man."  
"And you breed with the mouth of a goat."  
"Aren't you suppose to be like nice to everyone?"  
"Aren't you suppose to be fat with your caloric intake?"  
"Okay guys lets take a deep breathe, shall we?" I suggested.  
"Stay out of it!" They both yelled at the same time.  
“If this keeps up the next hour might as well be another week,” I thought to myself, “ maybe I should talk to Cas again one on one.”  
“Dean, I’m not really in a talking mood.”  
Well that takes care of that. So much for a peaceful rest of my journey.  
"Hey Cas," I said hesitantly.  
"What?"  
"Do you want your coat back?"  
I hadn't realized it up till now, but I had been wearing his trench coat for the past two days even though I had gotten a new shirt at the store in the small town we jumped by. Not that I minded.  
"Ya toss it here."  
I pulled it off, almost regretting have to give it up and tossed it over to him which he caught without even turning around. I hadn't noticed, but we were walking on the freeway, the same one I was driving on the night I died. Back then I never could have imagined that I’d be blindsided. That my car would roll four times. That I would die.  
"Reminiscing in the past isn't going to help the situation," Cas said.  
"What are you talking about?" asked Ash.  
"Don't worry about it."  
I opened my mouth to respond back, but I couldn’t find the words to say.  
Our light was fading and the moon was now visible. The amount of cars that were passing us on the freeway grew smaller as we exited onto a smaller, secluded road. There was no way we would make it to Norman in the night and there was no towns close enough for us to camp out in.  
"I guess we're camping out in the woods tonight," sighed Castiel.

We walked through the woods until Cas finally approved of a spot. There was an open circle with trees surrounding it hidden deep within the woods. Cas leaned up against the tree and motioned for me to pick a spot to sleep. The dirt wasn’t a very comfortable looking bed compared to the couches we were on before, but I guess it would have to do. I started brushing away some stones and old branches and sat down.  
"Dude, I actually have a tent,” said Ash nonchalantly.  
"Seriously you have a tent?" I exclaimed, standing and brushing the dirt off of myself.  
"I guess we can get some use out of you after all," said Cas.  
Ash set down his bag and pulled out the tent, but my excitement slowly deceased as he set it up. The tent was tiny, only able to fit one, maybe two people in it. Cas scanned it up and down not seeming surprised.  He grabbed the tree branch of the tree behind us and began climbing. He sat comfortably between two branches, gave us a wave and popped the collar of his coat.  
"What are you doing?" I asked.  
"I'm sleeping in the tree," he responded.  
"We can make room in the tent. Cas get down from there!"  
"I'd rather sleep in the tree then cuddle up with you two in the tent thank you very much."  
He pulled his collar higher to shadow his eyes. A tinge of disappointment stung me. There was no changing his mind. After several minutes of awkwardly rearranging ourselves, Ash and I finally were comfortable enough to sleep. When I woke it was dark. Ash was snoring next to me, his foot pressed uncomfortably into my back. I could see a light outside of the tent, bouncing shadows off the tent walls. It was a fire. I sat up and carefully unzipped the tent. As I suspect, outside was a small fire and Cas was sprawled out next to it. He seemed to be asleep. Shadows danced across the trees and bats swooped up and down the sky. There was a cool breeze which felt good against the humid air. It would rain. The moment was oddly peaceful. A familiarity from when I was alive, when I went camping with my family. I missed those days. I missed being alive. I missed my family, my bed, my house. I missed waking up every morning just to do the same routine I always did. I remember complaining about how terrible I thought my life was, but now that it’s gone I can't imagine why I thought it was so bad. And what if I don't like Heaven? What if all this work is for nothing? I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest. Then I looked at Cas.  He was on his side, his coat under his head used as a pillow. The wing pattern on his shirt was back to normal as if it never changed at all. His back motioned up and down as he took in each breath. I sat staring when I felt my cheeks warm again. Looking at someone so vulnerable, it felt intimate. I started to turn away when I noticed it. A lone feather coming out of the corner of his shirt. It was on his left shoulder which he was laying on.  The temptation was killing me and finally I couldn't hold myself back. Silently I crawled toward him. I was slow making sure not to make noise and wake him. Crack! I stepped on a small branch, the sound bouncing off the trees echoing around us. I froze as he moved. Did I wake him up? Then he settled. I moved closer until he was less than an arms length away. The warm of his body hitting my extended hand. I reached for the feather, hesitating just before I reached it, but I couldn't let my nerves get the best of Me. Again, I reached for the feather my fingers just about to touch its tip when I was tackled to the floor a glowing needle to my neck. His eyes were glowing and his tattoos were visible again. The feather, which flew into the air, fell silently onto my forehead.  
"Hey," I said shakily.  
He blinked. Our faces inches apart. We stared at each other for a moment and my cheeks started to redden once more. He stood up and walked back over to where he was laying. The needle he was holding sunk back into his hand and his eyes and tattoos stopped glowing.  
"Is there a reason you were reaching for me?"  
I stood up and cradled the feather in my palm.  
"Oh I see, the feather is that it?"  
"Sorry."  
"You shouldn't let your curiosity get the best of you like that Dean," he said staring at me. His stare got the best of Me as if I was melting. What was this feeling. I couldn’t put my finger on it.  
"Yeah," I responded, quickly turning away, "is this from your wings?"  
"That's correct."  
"I see."  
The feather was small. Oddly enough it gave off its own heat and felt warm in my hand. The tips of it were silver and it had a faded glow to it.  
"That one is actually quite old."  
I hadn't noticed, but he had walked over and was sitting next to me.  
"Normally they glow much brighter than that."  
I combed through it with my calloused finger.  
“You know, my feathers are indestructible,” he said proudly.  
I kept staring at it. How could such a small, fragile looking thing be indestructible?  
“Here let me see it,” he said taking it from my hands.  
He set it on the dirt floor and traced two lines from either side of it. After he was done the lines and the feather looked like a necklace. What could he possibly be doing? But then it began to glow. A silver chain rose out of the dirt drawing and connected itself to the feather. He reached down and picked it up.  
“Here you go,” he said dangling the necklace in front of Me,” now you don’t have to worry about losing it.”  
He smiled and gracefully slid behind me, looping the necklace around my neck. The feather was warm on my chest as I looked up at him.  
“Don’t you even get sentimental,” he said standing up.  
He put his hand on my head and ruffled up my hair.  
“Hey now, don’t you belittle me, we are the same age you know.”  
“Who are you kidding kid, I’m a hundred and twenty two,” he chuckled.  
“A hundred and twenty four!”  
“Thats right, a hundred and twenty four.”  
“I thought you said you grew up in Heaven?”  
“I did, but you get to be seen in whatever form you want in Heaven, and other people may see you a different way than how you see yourself.”  
“And out of all ages you chose to be twenty four?”  
“Well ya, twenty four seemed fun; I mean come on look at me I’m gorgeous,” he said posing.  
We looked at each other for a moment and then started laughing. It was a well needed laugh.


	8. There’s a first time for everything

The sun started to rise from the east. The birds sang and the fire crackled. We hadn’t eaten for a while and since Ash ate what little we had, we had to hunt for our breakfast. We weren’t too far from camp. Ash was to my left and Cas to my right. I’ve never really been hunting before and from what I could tell I wasn’t very good. We had seen two rabbits and I had scared both of them away. I made a makeshift-spear and nearly poked Cas’ eye out and when I was reaching for some bird eggs out of a tree I slipped and fell, dropping the eggs, two of which fell and broke on my head. It was official; I am not a hunter. And that leads us to now. We were behind a couple bushes and ahead of us was another rabbit.  
“You know I’m a pretty good shot,” said Ash.  
“Be quiet,” whispered Cas.  
“Hey, I’m just saying.”  
The rabbit looked up and soon after took off. Cas sprinted after in a wild rage.  
“I’m so hungry,” he yelled running after the rabbit.  
Glowing needles flew threw the woods. I ran behind him, but he was too fast.  
“Will you slow down?!” I yelled after him, “you don’t even get hungry!  
“I haven’t had rabbit in forever!”  
“Cas,” I shouted after him, “did you hear me, slow down!”  
“Never!”  
He jumped behind a bush and everything went silent. We walked closer and an eerie laugh rang through the air as he stood up, the rabbit in his hand coated with at least 20 needles.  
“I got him!”  
He danced around. He was like a child.  
I looked behind me to see Ash trudging through the bushes. By the look of it he must have fallen quite a few times. Dirt coated his face and twigs were sticking out of his ponytail. He made his last few steps until he was right in front of Me and collapsed to his knees.  
“Okay,” he huffed, “that’s enough running for today.”  
“You know you’re pretty slow for being such a limber guy,” said Cas.  
Ash raised his hand up to protest, but no words came out. Cas walked over to him and shoved the rabbit in his face  
“I got him,” he said proudly.  
Ash, who was looking down, looked up to find a rabbit centimeters from his face. He fell back into a bush in surprise.  
“What’s your problem,” he yelled trying to get out of the bush, and failing.  
“Me, I don’t have the problem, you’re the slow one!”  
Here we go again with the arguing. I watched for a moment as they bickered and decided enough was enough. I began to walk over to them when something caught my ear.  
“Do you hear that?” I asked.  
“What!” They both yelled, looking at Me.  
“Listen.”  
“It sounds like a stream,” said Castiel, his head tilted.  
“And you know what that means don’t you?”  
“Fish!”  
Turns out we were right, there was a stream. After removing my shirt and pants, I waded into the cool water.  
“Okay now don’t get me wet okay?”  
“Cannonball!” yelled Cas, jumping into the water.  
A wave of water crashed into me. I was soaked.  
“Didn’t I say not to get me wet, you fool!”  
“It’s been three days whiny pants, you need a bath anyways,” he said, now floating on his back.  
After considering what we had been through he was right, I was disgusting. I slowly sank into the water scrubbing the dirt and grime off my face.  
“Ash aren’t you coming in?” I asked.  
“Um no thanks man, I’m not much of a water person,” he said picking the twigs from his hair.  
“You can’t swim can you?” said Cas laughing.  
“Hey man it’s not funny.”  
“You’re right it’s hilarious,” he laughed, “ouch, don’t throw rocks.”  
“Thats what you get jerk,” said Ash. “Ow!”  
“Doesn’t feel too nice does it?” said Castiel sticking out his tongue. “Hey that one’s huge, don’t throw that!”  
“Hey Ash?”  
“You say something Dean?” he asked mid throw, nearly falling over.  
“Ya, can I ask you something?”  
“Sure why not.”  
“How exactly did you die?”  
He dropped the rock and stared at the ground.  
“Hey man, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pry, I just.”  
“I drowned,” he said interrupting me.  
That got Cas’ attention. I could tell by the look on his face that he regretted his earlier comment.  
“I went out partying with my friends and we had been drinking. One of the guys thought it would be fun to go to this lake nearby and go night swimming. There was a wooden dock you could walk on. I would go sit on the end and watch them swim, but one of them snuck up behind me and pushed me in failing to realize that I couldn’t swim. They all stared and laughed as I grabbed at the surface trying to keep my head up, splashing around, gasping for air and finally I went under. The last thing I remember is hitting the cold bottom and the last speck of light fade away.”  
An awkward silence filled the air.  
“Ash I...” started Cas.  
“Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter anymore and now I got you guys and can go to Heaven again,” he said smiling as he washed the dirt off his face.  
Castiel looked down ashamed. He knew Ash couldn’t come with them.  
“Ash, I don’t think you understand, you can’t,” he started, but was interrupted.  
“Did you see that?” I interrupted  
Something swam past me and then again. Cas stared at Ash for another moment then looked at me.  
“What are you talking about Dean?”  
“Look.”  
A small sparkle flew through the water.  
“It’s a fish!” yelled Cas.  
He jumped toward the animal and went under the water, when he arose, to my surprise, he had a fish in his hand.  
“You are one talented man,” I chuckled and then turned back toward Ash.  
I’d been judging him. Just by the little time I had spent with him, not taking the time to stop and think about what he had been through. I guess a person’s experiences really do make them who they are.  
Cas ended up catching three more fish and later we made our way back to camp, there we cooked the rabbit and fish and made sure everything was eaten to the bone.  
“We better get moving, let's head back out to the road,” said Cas.  
“But we just ate, how about we take a nap,” complained Ash.  
“Great idea, you take a nap and we’ll leave.”  
“You’re hilarious,” said Ash sarcastically.  
“Lets go, hippie boy.”


	9. So Close

We packed up camp and started back toward the freeway. The sun was covered by the looming clouds which, over time, became darker and darker.  
“Something doesn’t feel right,” said Castiel looking toward the sky.  
“What do you mean?” I replied.  
“The closer we have gotten to Norman the darker the sky has gotten and the cars have stopped coming.”  
I hadn’t noticed it before, but he was right. The sky over Norman was nearly black.  
“If that’s what I think it is then it’s gonna get rough,” said Cas.  
“What do you mean, what do you think it is?” I replied.  
He stopped walking.  
“So you’ve finally found us,” he said spinning around, pushing Ash and I behind him.  
“You’re a hard man to find, now there is no point in resisting, just give me the Man.”  
It was Azazel. His two minions on either side.  
“Who are they?” asked Ash shakily.  
“We have come this far demon, what makes you think I’ll give up so easily now?” said Castiel.  
“Seriously bro, who are they?” yelled Ash.  
“Nash shut up,” I whispered.  
“Well well well, what do we have here,” said Azazel, walking toward us, “Getting a little risky letting him tag along don’t you think angel?”  
“Don’t come any closer.”  
“Why don’t you just let me take Him off your hands, it’s not like you can take Him with you anyways.”  
“What’s he talking about Dean?” stuttered Ash.  
I looked at Cas in desperation not knowing what to tell him.  
“You didn’t tell him did you? Oh that’s a dirty move,” laughed Azazel, his minions laughing with him.  
“Shut your mouth!” Cas yelled back.  
“You really didn’t tell him did you?”  
He took a step closer.  
“What is he talking about, what didn’t you tell me?” Ash said frantically.  
“Your angel friend has been keeping secrets from you little soul,” said Azazel, a smile crawling across his pale face.  
“What kind of secrets?”  
“Don’t listen to him Ash,” I yelled.  
“Tell me!”  
He backed away from me. The sky grew darker and suddenly opened up into a full on down pour.  
“When they invited you on this little adventure did they happen to mention that you can’t go through Dean’s door?” said Azazel.  
“I said shut up!” yelled Castiel.  
“Is that true Dean, can I really not come with you?”  
“Ash I..”  
“Can I?!”  
“No,” I said looking down.  
“But why, why would you lie?”  
“Because they are cruel beings,” said Azazel, “but I can help you, I can take you away from this world,” he said reaching out his hand, “ just come with me.”  
Ash looked at Me and I shook my head no. He started walking toward Azazel, the rain plastering his loose hair to his face.  
“Ash don’t listen to him,” said Cas.  
He walked past Castiel, ignoring his warning.  
“That’s right, come to Me little soul,” hissed Azazel.  
“He’s going to kill You Ash,” I screamed.  
That got his attention. He turned around and looked toward me. A mixture of pain and desperation covered his face.  
“He what?”  
But it was too late. Azazel was behind him and with a quick push his hand was through Ash’s heart. He stood paralyzed. A fire sprang from where his heart use to be and slowly started to consume him.  
“Ash!” I yelled in panic as I started running toward him, but Cas stopped me holding me back as I thrashed to get away.  
“Dean,” Ash whimpered. A tear slowly rolled down his cheek as he disappeared with nothing left, but scattered dust on the pavement.  
Cas didn’t hesitate, he charged for the demon on the right as I dropped to my knees. A roar came from the demon as his face was consumed by light. He ran violently around clawing at his boiling skin. Castiel sprinted toward the next demon, but Azazel was fast. He teleported to Castiel’s path kicking him to the floor.  
“Not a chance angel.”  
He shot a blast of dark screams and Cas was sent flying across the slick pavement. I sat motionless on the road not comprehending what was happening.  
“Dean!” screamed Cas, getting to his feet.  
He shot forward, his eyes and tattoos now glowing. Azazel countered his punch with another shot of screams which resulted in an explosion-both flying backward. Both landed on their feet sliding down the pavement. Cas countered with needles scattering through the air.  
“That was not your soul to take!” yelled Cas.  
Azazel dodged; his speed was incredible. He launched himself toward Cas a black chain sprang from his palm and wrapped itself around Cas’ leg.  
“You brought that fate upon him!” yelled Azazel pulling the chain up.  
Castiel flew into the air just to be brought back down and crashed into the pavement. What was I suppose to do? I didn’t stand a chance against them. I watched helplessly as Castiel was again slammed into the pavement. I can’t just sit here and let him get beaten like that. I made my decision. I took off running toward the other minion who was watching the fight. I didn’t have a weapon, but that didn’t matter. Then I remembered, Cas’ feather. He said it was indestructible and it was an object of light. It was my only chance. I lunged toward the demon, tackling him to the ground. We rolled a couple feet as I tried to hold him down.  
“Dean, what are you doing?!” yelled Cas.  
I could barely hear him. I blocked everything out. I had to protect him like I couldn’t protect Ash. The Goon shot a small bolt of lighting which skimmed my arm.  I ripped the necklace from my neck and prayed it would work  
“Ahhhhhhhhhh!” I yelled thrusting the feather toward the demon.  
The feather pierced through the demons eye as if it was as hard as stone. He wailed in pain as veins of light spread across his face. I rolled out of the way as he shriveled into ash and all I could do was stare at the pile of what use to be demon. I couldn’t believe it worked. I stood and turned toward Cas and Azazel. Cas had golden blood dripping from his face, a cut across his eye and arms. They were standing apart both panting. Azazel had black blood coming from his lip and his arm, his leather jacket torn.  
“Looks like he’s getting daring.” said Azazel.  
Azazel looked toward me and for a split second we made eye contact. His yellow eyes filled with rage. He smiled and bolted toward me. Castiel seeing him coming toward me shot a swarm of needles toward him, but it was too late. Azazel bent backwards. The needles flew over him. Again he started running toward me. I turned to run tripping over my feet. He was catching up fast. He grabbed the back of my shirt and threw me to the ground.  
I managed to flip over and kicked. To my surprise I made contact and he stumbled backwards as I stood up and started to run again.  
“Dean, give me your hands.”  
It was Cas. I put my hands up without turning around, afraid Azazel would catch up. Suddenly my feet weren’t on the ground anymore, I was flying. I looked up and there was Cas and from out of his back were wings.  
“Hold on tight.”  
I nodded and grasped his arms.  
“I have had just about enough of this,” yelled Azazel wiping the blood from his mouth.  
He raised his hands. The darkness above Norman started getting closer and closer. He threw his arms forward and the darkness covered the sky racing toward us. Screams tore at our ears and the wind ripped through the air.  
“Cas, I think we’re in trouble!”  
“This power isn’t normal for a demon, he must have made a contract!”  
“A what?”  
“A contract with the devil,  more power in exchange for more screams, his screams, he’ll be tortured!”  
My eyes widened realizing what was about to happen.  
“We don’t stand a chance,” I breathed, my grip on Cas’ arms tightening.  
We picked up speed, but the darkness was too fast. Skeleton hands reached out from the darkness grabbing for us. When suddenly it was all around us. We spun violently around as we were sucked into a vortex of screams and darkness.    
“Don’t let go of my hand,” He yelled.  
We were being thrown like ragdolls, nothing around us but darkness. The screams clawed at my ears. I closed my eyes trying to block them out, but it was no use. Tears started to rolled down my face and I yelled out a terrified scream when I felt Cas’ hand hold even tighter on mine and pulled me in wrapping his wings around both of us.  
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven,” he yelled, “Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”  
Light began to grow around us.  
“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever.”  
The light now surrounded us. It became blinding.  
“Amen!”  
Everything around us seemed to be lost in the light. The screams became silent. The world seemed to stand still. Cas opened his wings and I opened my eyes, but the person before me wasn’t the Cas I knew. This was his true form. His eyes were nothing but light, his skin flawless and his tattoos gone. His hair was now shoulder length and he wore a long white robe, but the most spectacular part was his wings. Each feather was a radiant white with shining silver tips. Each wing was at least six feet long. To my surprise I began to cry again, but not out of fear out of pure awe. I’d never seen anything so beautiful. This was my first glimpse of Heaven. I opened my mouth, but couldn’t speak. He lifted his finger to his lips signaling me not to speak and then reached toward me placing his finger on my heart. My body suddenly felt warm and weightless. My eyes started to close, I tried to keep them open, but couldn’t and then it was gone.  
When I woke it was still dark. From what I could tell I was in a church and was laying across a pew. The moonlight shone through a giant stained glass window and a rainbow of colors spread across the room. Sitting on the windowsill was Cas and he was back to his normal 22 year old self. I sat up and he must have noticed because he jumped down and started walking toward me.  
“How do you feel?” he asked.  
“I’m fine.”  
It was weird hearing my own voice as though I wasn’t really speaking.  
“You went through a lot I won’t blame you if you want to stay the night here.”  
“Where exactly is here?”  
“It’s a cathedral about three hours out from Norman, we ended up here when we jumped, who knows why.”  
“Three hours!”  
“Correct.”  
“That means we’re two hours from where we were before! We need to leave now.”  
“Slow down, just rest for a moment.”  
“No Cas, we need to go now,” I said standing up.  
“Why are you being so stubborn!”  
“Lets go,” I started walking toward the door.  
“Dean stop,” he said grabbing my shoulder. “What’s the big hurry?”  
“Because I saw it,” I yelled slapping his hand away, “I saw a glimpse of Heaven, of where I get to be!”  
Cas stared at me for a moment and then walked out the door. I don’t care what he thinks, I know what I want and I’m going to get it.


End file.
